Haven’t been on here for ages, just trying to plod on and get myself in a good frame of mind in order to support our kids. My stepdaughter’s anorexia however, is beginning to suck the life out of me. I keep believing that she will have the strength to change, I keep loving her with all my heart, holding her when she cries and wants to kill herself, when she says she can no longer do this, when she sobs for hours; her boney little frail fragile body pressed against mine, damp from all the tears, until the sobs subside. But nothing ever changes. She now has gone back to hiding and pretending, laxatives, making herself sick, hiding away etc. etc. etc. – I am sure those of you who have lived with an anorexic know exactly what that feels like. It hurts me so much seeing her like this; wasting away, throwing her precious life away, her precious time away, whilst sucking the life out of those who love and want to help her most. And I feel unheard. Unhelped. Unsupported. I’m being called ‘selfish’ and been told to ‘get a grip’ and ‘be bigger than this’. Well, I am crumbling, and I don’t know who to turn to. I feel so heavy today, so empty…. Like I’ve literally had all strength, life and joy sucked out of me….
Sorry for the rant, but right now I have noone to talk to. So had to put this somewhere.
Much love to you all – those of you who are struggling, and those of you who are struggling supporting someone who is struggling…